Let's Mcfreaking lose it!
by Thefreakoutsideyourwindow
Summary: "Fuck you, dude! It's 4am, I saw them first, and I am taking my chicken mcfreaking nuggets and leaving!" In which Noctis is prepared to declare treason over a box of chicken nuggets.


"Fuck you, dude! It's 4am, I saw them first, and I am taking my chicken mcfreaking nuggets and leaving!"

No. No, this could not possibly be happening. Never in all of Noctis's short fifteen years of life had he ever encountered such ignorance, such arrogance from a heathen who didn't know who he was, and just how much he needed those damn chicken nuggets. And he totally saw them first, by the way.

"Just. Let. Them. Go! It's not like this isn't the last store on earth!"

"Right back at you, buddy!" The heathen replied, tugging a bit more on the box and causing the cardboard to dent and its colours to warp slightly under the strain.

Honestly, Noctis was really wondering whether it was time to start re-evaluating his life choices. But it was 4am on a Saturday, he'd just gotten away from Ignis in the first time in two weeks (and hence away from the torture that was green beans and kale) and he _needed_ , no, _deserved_ the glorious saturated fats soaked and throw away carb goodness that was junk food and, in this case, chicken nuggets. Though he'd much rather be sleeping right now, Noctis could appreciate the dead quiet that came with this particular time of night, but it didn't lessen the embarrassment of the situation very much.

Gritting his teeth in determination, Noct tugged the box back in his direction away from the annoying blonde that 'just so happened' to see them first.

And so the tug of war began once again.

That was until a quiet "ahem" came from behind them making the two teens jump slightly in shock to look at the graveyard shift worker with a disgruntled expression on her face who was absolutely, positively not paid enough to deal with this shit. "Are you guys gonna buy that, or what?" She asked, gazing upward towards the grating luminous lights overhead as if asking Ramuh himself to smite them then and there.

The nugget thief showed the first signs of embarrassment, his face flushing and highlighting his freckles as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly (but still kept one hand firmly on the box, the bastard), "Yeah, I'm going over to pay for them right now, actually! Sorry about all the fuss!"

The employee didn't seem to notice the response, or at least didn't seem to care as she gave a slight shrug and continued to roam the aisles like a zombie. That was when the floof-haired idiot took a step to the right, and Noctis took a step to the left. They glared at each other but continued to move forward in a tango for the rapidly freezing frozen food. Before they knew it, they'd arrived at the self-check out counter and by the look on the frozen food kleptomaniac beside him, patience was wearing thin on both sides.

"Okay seriously, dude, I need to pay for these and get my ass back into the stream, this has taken way too much time."

For a moment, Noctis was stunned in confusion enough to relinquish his grip on the box. "Wait, what stream? Who the hell goes swimming this late? Ah hey-!" In Noctis's confusion the other teen had grabbed the box and has scanned it, already starting to pay for it. Deciding fate needed to tip the scales in his direction for once, Noctis sped over and sat on the scales next to where the box rested, causing the self-checkout machine to glitch and halt the buying process. The effort was worth it, though, for the enraged face of the nugget thief in front of him.

"The King's Knight livestream that's been going on for 18 hours, what else? Also, get the fuck off the scales!"

The comment brought Noctis to pause for a moment, causing the self-satisfied smirk to slip from his face for a moment, "Wait, King's Knight? What level are you?"

"87, but that's besides the point, _nowgetawayfrommyfreaking_ -!"

"Aw what?! I'm level 83 and I've been playing it since it first came out!" Notcis exclaimed, effectively cutting off the tirade that was to come.

Oddly enough, that seemed to perk up the mood of the teen across from him, brightening up his face to something that looked not-so murderous, "Hell yeah, dude! Play it every chance I get!"

A pregnant silence filled the store, the awkward shuffling of feet and expectations and yeah, maybe Noctis was being a bit of an ass as the acme anvil of shame landed on his head.

"S-so..." Notcis started, no longer able to look at the other teen in his eyes but continued to feel their weight upon him, "I've been a... bit of a jackass," a snort "and I guess you maybe did see them first, and a guy that desperate for frozen chicken nuggets clearly needs them _pleasesendmethelinkforthestreamIawaysendupmissingthem._ "

Nugget thief (it was quicker to refer to him as that in his head, Noct realised) blinked slowly, as if trying to comprehend what was just blurted out in one breath, his face void of any expression before he broke into a wide grin and started gasping for breath as he laughed. Noct simply stood there as pink dusted his cheeks, becoming more embarrassed by the minute, ready to leave just as the teen next to him calmed down and said, "Dude, you seemed to need them just as me. To be honest, we've both got a bit of the late-night crazies. Plus you're probably the first guy I've met who knows about King's Knight, let alone plays it. I'll link you to the stream, no probs."

Noctis flashed a genuine smile at that, saying a quiet "thanks" as he stood up and off the most-likely now broken weighing scale. Nugget thief, no, rightful nugget owner paid for his food and they both made their way out the store, both wanting to say more and neither knowing quite what to say. Or rather, the blonde teen opened his mouth to say something before tripping over the curb in the dark and dropping the barely-together box of hard-won chicken nuggets.

"Noooooo! ALL IS LOOSSSTT!"he cried, pushing himself off the floor and inspecting it for damage, only to find that they all spilled out as he held it up. Noct had to stop himself from laughing as he offered him a hand up, which the other teen took, and turned it into a defeated sigh as he observed the gaudy luminous yellow sign in the distance, and knew he wouldn't get any more sleep tonight.

"Look, as a memorial to the lost nugget lives, how about we go gorge ourselves on some actual hot nuggets? My treat." Noctis said as he threw his thumb behind him in the general direction of the still-open restaurant.

The other teen looked like he'd been given a puppy. "Seriously?! Dude, thanks! Almost makes up for the attempted robbery earlier!" Noct huffed as he decided to let the comment slide, walking towards the establishment with all the grace that someone awake at the ungodly hours of past stupid o'clock in the morning could achieve. "Plus, since they have wifi there, we can watch the stream!"

"Fair enough. Hey, I didn't get your name by the way." Noctis said as they strolled into the warmth of the restaurant. It was only eight nuggets in that Prompto remembered to give Noctis his name, and after 29 they were so absorbed in the stream they didn't even notice dawn slowly rising and the withering glances they were receiving from the employees from the loud volume of the video on their phones.

Noctis didn't regret a minute of it.

...Until the day after when Ignis had found out and introduced him to the joys of horticulture and enough greens to turn him green for life. Maybe junk food could wait for another day...

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah di blah who even reads these? Sorry it's been like a year or so.**

I'm tired but this thing bounced around in my head and decided it needed to be written down. Also this fandom is destroying my life. Also also what even is this title. Did anyone else see that vine? Anyway, hope you all enjoyed!


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